Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Day 6...

Well Christmas has come and gone and we survived.  The boys were thrilled with all their gifts - Alex got 3 new Star Wars Lego kits, clothes, a remote control car and many other items, and Joey was excited with his haul of books, coloring kits, clothes, and all things Mickey Mouse Clubhouse related.  Santa also treated our family with a new game (as is his tradition).  This year it was Zingo! - a Discovery Toys game, similar to Bingo.  It's a riot to play with the boys.  I'd highly recommend it!! (My boys are 6 & 3)  If it sounds neat to you, and you're in Canada, I can hook you up with it.  (And it's not a sales pitch - it really is a great game!) :)

We are also on Day 6 of no ADHD meds for Alex.  The first few days were very rough, I will admit.  Constant reminders ("Alex, get dressed!", "Alex, stop jumping on the couch!", "Alex, get your hand out of your pants!"... lol), constant mediation between him and his brother, and just the constant need to be more patient than ever with him.  The sound effects, humming, and incessant talking (often about bowel movements or anatomy...) have returned in full form.  The inability to keep his hands to himself has returned to an extent.  On the plus side though, he has been eating like he's a bottomless pit and had already gained three pounds, sleeping in daily and not battling us at bedtime at all.  He seems genuinely happy, laughing alot and showing affection.

It's all kind of bittersweet, because I know the pros are only temporary.  Realistically, he would not be able to function 'normally' at his age and grade level at school without the meds.  It's frustrating and a little heartbreaking for me.  He is so smart (and I know every mother says that about their kid, but it's true!), and I feel like by giving him meds to help him I am also essentially binding and gagging some of the things that make him who he is.  His eyes don't shine as brightly when he's on meds.  He doesn't hug me the same way when he's on meds.

This seems to be turning into an ADHD-themed blog, which actually was never my intention.  I suppose though since it is such a huge part of our lives it only makes sense that I need a place to put down all my thoughts about it. 

We'll see what the next blog post brings...

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Well we did it....

Two Eggo waffles, 1 leftover slice of pizza, 1 cup of chocolate milk and 1 drinkable yogurt later... the boy has finally finished breakfast.

It's Day 1 of being off meds, he's weighing in at 45 lbs and we're off to Crazy Town....:)

Massive Boxing Week Blowout & Winter Wonderland Sales!

I have a Discovery Toys home business.  All toys are educational-based and are suitable for children of all abilities.  Contact me for more information on how to get in on these AMAZING Boxing Week & Winter Sales.  All Discovery Toys have LIFETIME GUARANTEES, and the company has already been around for 30+ years with no mandatory recalls.  It's really quality you can trust. 

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Winter break is upon us!

Today was the last day of school for my 6 year old, Alex.  Fourteen days ahead of full-time parenting.  I'm a little terrified, truth be told.

Alex takes medication for his ADHD.  While it has helped him tremendously to stay on task at school and be able to 'function' at his grade level, it has most certainly come with it's own set of negative side effects.  Already a slim boy, the meds have caused him to lose about 5 pounds since we changed the prescription in September.  It may not sound like alot, but to look at him and be able to count his ribs or the vertabrae in his spine... well, as a mother it makes me feel terrible.  It's not my fault or his fault - a reduced appetite is simply one of the side effects.  We do our best to feed him full calorie, full fat foods when he is willing to eat of course, but it's not enough.

Another common side effect is difficulty falling asleep at night.  The meds he takes are stimulant based, and supposed to last between 10-12 hours.  He's usually 'coming down' from them right around the time he should be going to bed, and then the battle begins.  The so-called "rebound effect" from ADHD meds can make the regular symptoms of disorder more exaggerated, which means we generally have a boy who is bouncing off the walls and not at all ready to settle down to sleep.  He becomes combative, weepy and needy.

As a parent, the sleep disturbances and the reduced appetite are huge concerns.  I find myself torn, often feeling like I don't know the right path to take with him. 

Occasionally, if we have no where "important" to go, we give him a day or two off the meds on the weekend.  Of course we have a rebounding, more hyper than hyper boy on our hands - but we also have a boy EATS the way a high energy, healthy 6 year old should.  He SLEEPS and goes to bed the way a healthy 6 year old should.  He doesn't have the same anxiety levels as when he is coming off the meds.

With Winter Break starting, my husband and I are discussing giving Alex a much longer drug 'holiday', so that he gets the above mentioned benefits for at least 9 or 10 days.  (We would start him back on meds a few days before returning to school.)  I am hesitant, however, because I know it will require a HUGE amount of patience on our parts, as we deal with the extreme inappropriateness, the extreme inattention, the extreme impulsivity, etc. 

I don't know if anyone actually reads this blog, but if you do - please wish us luck!  This could be a bumpy ride....

Monday, December 20, 2010

Christmas, Christmas time is here...Time for joy and time for... tears?

I have been feeling very weepy lately.  I'm not proud of it, but I have been dwelling a lot on all the things I don't have.  My van needs a new motor for the driver window, a new back wiper, and there's something wrong with our ABS.  Likely a total of at least $1000 in repairs.  My house feels small and cramped and outdated, but with me staying home with the kids we are in no position to move for possibly another year or more.  Christmas is coming and it feels like I'm constantly spending money we don't have. 

It has been a difficult year.  Last January we made the decision to become a single-income household, because our eldest son was having many struggles in school and daycare, and I was feeling the stress and pressure of being a working mother and not spending enough time with my boys.  Well let me tell you - there is no tougher job than being a stay at home mom.  You never get a break.  You never get sick time or vacation time.  You are on call 24/7. 

As the year progressed, we had many ups and downs with our eldest, as we struggled to find the right medication for his ADHD and struggled to simply *parent* him.  In September, he entered Grade 1 and the meetings with the school started.  After an adjustment to his meds in October, things have been a bit smoother and he is able to stay on task and get his work done in class.  But there is still so much we are learning about him and his needs that it is often very overwhelming and leads to disagreements and strain between my husband and I.

This morning as I drove to deliver some toys for my home-business, the song "Do they know it's Christmas" by Band-Aid came on the radio.  I have probably heard this song a thousand times.  I started to cry, as I listened to the lyrics:

It's Christmas time, there's no need to be afraid
At Christmas time, we let in light and we banish shade
And in our world of plenty we can spread a smile of joy
Throw your arms around the world at Christmas time

Some might think it's cheesy, but it's really not.  For all the things I often feel are out of my reach or control, I have so much.  I have a roof above me, and shelter from the cold.  I have food in my fridge.  I have healthy children.  I have a husband whose love I have never doubted.  I have parents whose love I have never doubted.  My children have two sets of grandparents who love and spoil them with affection and cookies.  Our extended families love and support us.  Alex has a teacher who cares about him and puts in the effort to communicate with us and work with his needs.  Alex is so smart and has a great sense of humour. I have Joey, who is my constant ray of sunshine even when I might feel like I'm drowning in rain.

This week I will put my focus on all of these things and save my worries for another time.  I hope everyone who reads this can appreciate the things they have, as opposed to the 'have nots' as well, and have a wonderful Christmas.